Monday, October 8, 2012

I'm not going to lie- this past week has been extremely challenging for me. There were a lot of up and way too many downs. A lot of stomach flu and ensuing massive extra laundry, little sleep, cranky attitudes and general grumpiness in this house. It was my first week working a more full time schedule (only working 4 days) working my small home daycare. We are all definitely in the adjustment period right now, and my energy and attention is pulled in a bunch of new directions. On top of all the small children running (awesomely) wild in our home, I've been so motivated to work out, I managed to fit in an hour of intense running or hot yoga each day from Monday until Thursday, then the epic flu hit. Everyone who came in contact with us got infected. It spread like the zombie virus. I thought I was coming down with it for sure, but it turned out that I was just really run down and exhausted (go figure). I never got the vomiting and such thankfully. I guess all this working out and eating right is paying off! GO immune system! But I certainly was not feeling well all weekend. Josh and I had a fight, I was just so TIRED and felt the dreaded "this is so overwhelming" coming on. I always knew that being a mother would be hard from being a nanny, but living it 24/7 is a whole other story. I honestly could not start most days without a LARGE cup of coffee. Thank god for hot yoga and my gym for keeping me sane. I honestly feel so energetic after exercising. It makes me feel like I can conquer my day, but sometimes, the lack of sleep will just throw everything off and I just implode a little.

So after the flu left us, and I scrubbed everything we had til it was sanitary it was Thanksgiving. There really is nothing like a turkey dinner to make you feel all sleepily warm and loved. It felt good to eat a grand feast with family. We spent it with Josh's mom (aka Kaleia's main babysitter and my life savoir who enables me to workout everyday! I love her.) ,  his brother, and the newest addition KALEIA! Everything is more fun when she's around. She really is such a little blessing. I am eternally thankful for her, and the person she has made me strive to be. Always trying to be kinder, stronger,  gentler, and more loving just for her. I want to be a person she would be proud of, like how proud of my beautiful Momma I am. My bond with Kaleia so reminds me of the bond between me and my Mom. And when I'm with her I feel closer to my mom, like I am becoming her in a way. It definitely makes me miss her more, and appreciate all the sacrifices she made for me. Thanksgiving really came at a time when my patience was stretched, everything was messy and out of control. It came at a time where I really would have to go out of my way to feel thankful- which is exactly what I needed. I forced introspection. What are YOU thankful for Vanessa? And it really made me stop and let go of all the stress that was building, and take a look around and see all the happiness and love around me.
We finished the long weekend off with a trip up to French Beach. It was a perfect way to reconnect my breath and begin the week right.

Tomorrow the kids come back, the coffee machine is ready for duty!

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