Today

Today I woke up to a thick fog peppered with fiery autumn leaves, a chill in the air, and a less than desirable amount of sleep had the night before. I slept for maybe 5 good hours, which is the bare minimum I need to function but not optimal for peak Vanessa performance.

I scooped up my bebe Minnow and curled up to watch sesame street while I drunk my coffee and waited for the bebe Alex I care for to arrive. After breakfast I forced myself to get dressed in clothes that were not pajamas and brush my hair, kind of. I convinced my willful daughter to put clothes on, but she did not like having her hair done, so her pony tail was of the side/80's variety. I packed the kids in the car and met my friend and her son at the library for story time. The first 10 minutes was spent me chasing after Minnow as she tore all the books off the shelves, climbed chairs and ran at full speed towards the stairs. She found this hilarious.
The crowd of mothers and children filed into the basement meeting room, we found our chairs and waited. Children really do not like to wait. For anything. The difficult thing about having two children with you is that they tend to always want to go the opposite way as the other. Usually right when you sit down with one the other runs the other way. Maybe it's just those specific little monkeys...
The story time leader person came in and already Minnow was getting suspicious. She stayed on the outside of the group with a not-convinced frown. Meanwhile Alex happily bounced on my lap and giggled smiling at everyone like he was in his element. He fucking LOVES story time. Minnow on the other hand seemed embarrassed for everyone when we were singing the hello song or about our head and shoulders knees and toes (knees and toes!). This girl is 17 months old and already she's too cool for things! I think she already knows that she is cooler than me. By the end of class she had opened up a little and waited patiently in line with the other kids to get her pumpkin stamp on both her little fists.
The thing I realized today is, no matter who or what Kaleia Minnow becomes, I already am behind her completely and adore everything she does- even if it's it social awkwardness and arrogant shyness,
I'm like "Awww how cute, she's judging us. Awwww!"
I'm proud of her for everything she is, and only can hope to show her through my own actions about kindness and acceptance. Something that we all aren't born with, it is learnt. That's why kids can be such dicks sometimes, with NO filter. They need good examples of love and compassion.
After getting the kids home and feeding them lunch I put them down for their naps and relished in the sweet, sweet silence and drank my tea. I browsed furniture renos on pinterest, and looked on craigslist for a new kitchen table to transform.
After a while I heard a tiny little voice say "Muma?". Feeling rejouvinated and buzzing on green tea I went and collected my small child from our bed.
She looks me and says "Alex?"
I say "He's still sleeping"
She pats me "Muma"
Then herself "Daya" (that's how she says Kaleia).
Points to Kitties "Titties"

I seriously will never tire of her little voice. I always want to hear what she has to say (We already have inside jokes). :)
The rest of the afternoon was spent playing leaves at the park, or me pulling them in circles around our street in the wagon. When Alex got picked up I kissed my bebe and husband and jump in the car to go to work at Moksha Yoga.

 I arrive to the serene and cozy studio and settle in. I make some green tea and answer emails and voicemails in the perfect in-between-classes quiet. I really savor these moments of tranquility. Tonight I worked with one of my new favourite people. We just became best friends I think. She's the kind of person I can already picture what our friendship will be like; lots of jokes and silliness but also comfort and genuine caring. I already adore her so much and she had me laughing all night. I am really enjoying my job at the studio that has been home to my yoga practice for 4 years. The best part is the amazing community. I get to chat with incredible, positive fun people all the time. It's rarely stressful and I always leave with a sense of purpose; feeling like I have somewhere I belong. Somewhere that will get me through the stormy weather- figuratively and metaphorically!

So now I sit at my iMac with a glass of Argentinian Malbec in a quiet and still home. I returned to my little family asleep without me, snuggled close and looking adorable. I'm still on GO mode, but slowly fading. The buzz of caffine slowing behind heavy lidded wine eyes. Reflecting on a perfectly average day. Utterly exhausted but completely fulfilled. Story of my life.

Goodnight